Fitting in

[dhbearguy]

I kinda feel lost. I kinda feel like I don't fit in. It's werid, but latley, I just don't feel like I belong. I have a lot to do, but it seems like I have no where to go. I feel like my life has no direction! I don't know what has changed, and I cannot recall feeling this way before.

I was at Bearracuda tonight, and I felt like I was a major outsider, I could not figure out how to break into what was going on there. There were plenty of people who know me, and I know them, but I could just not get into ther converstaions, or the grove of the environment.

When I got there, I did have a nice converstaion with one guy who I knew, who is about my age, but I just could not talk to others. I was sitting there helpless!

I think it is probably because I am practically living alone. Before Christmas, there was always someone here. The roomate, or the boyfriend. I don't have either of them here anymore. I am probalby just feeling lonely! And while going out I thought was supposed to help curb that, it does not seem to be working.

The one thing I have really enjoyed this past month is going country dancing with telecommunicate! TERPSICHORE, or Kira as I called him the other night. My dance muse. Thanks J.P.

I think I am going to start spending my weekends at home, except for Sundance Saloon. Catch up on tv, watch netflix dvd's, work on Stompede planning. Spring clean the apartment. Definatly do other things then go out to the bars.

It is weird, I didn't know being so popular would feel so lonely.

Comments

[ufcub.livejournal.com]

We all go through bouts of loneliness, babe. Life isn't always going to go the way we hope, but the important thing to know is that you are alive and have a lot of good things going on around you. I recently posted about a card reading that I had last week, and it was about the same kind of issue - a need for direction. What came out of it for me was that my life's final destination is NOT known to me, and it doesn't really matter in the end. What matters is the journey... living life, and not worrying about where you're going. Just GO! You'll end up on the path that best suits your life.

And being alone isn't necessarily a bad thing, either. When you go OUT, you can be around the folks that you know and who love you. But when you're home, now you have DAVE time. Use that. Revel in it. We all need time to ourselves and time surrounded by our friends. It's just that you're going through a change right now, and change is rarely easy... but change is GOOD! Try to focus on that.

OK, enough of my inspirational speech now LOL Just know that being alone physically in your home doesn't mean that you're really "alone". XOXOX