Sep. 20th, 2006 05:30 pm
dhbearguy: (Default)
Just got a txt message that Jeff lifted his right hand over his head!! WOW! This is so great!!
dhbearguy: (jeffc)
I had a good visit with Jeff today. He was pretty mellow. Was actually sleeping when I got there but woke up. I had my laptop with me so I could show him photos of the weekend. He pointed at many people he recognized. I could tell he was amused at some of the pole dancing.

I opened notpad on the laptop and put it in his lap and asked him to type his name. He started to play with the touch pad instead, but I got him to type. He typed jegg then instantly moved towards the backspace key and corrected it and typed jeff. He was trying to tell me something, but I could not understand, so I told him to type something. He typed "push" then pointed with his thumb, up, which meant he wanted to be moved up in his bed some. So the nurses moved him and he said he was more comfortable.

One of the nurses got out the book Phil made and opened it to the "place" page and asked him to point to where he was. He pointed to St. Mary's which was wrong, then looked at me. I told him.. Nope, not there. He then just tried the next one.. Kaiser, which I knew he was no just guessing.

She opened it to the "Date" page and asked what year it was. He chose 2006, but then chose August. not bad, considering he really does not know what day it is. I told him it was labor day and asked if he knows what month Labor Day is in, and he could not recall. Which is okay. I opened it to the "Who" Page and said.. Who is here with you right now, and he pointed at the furthest box which had my name in it.

I gave him a light scalp massage, and he really liked that a lot. It about put him to sleep. I know I like them. I did this a couple of times.

Tomorrow I am going to bring a regular keyboard with me to try to get him to use it to communicate with me when I am there. Maybe if he is willing, we can take his laptop there so he can communicate with the staff. I am concerned about the security of the laptop of course, so we would need to talk to the staff about it. I could bring a cable lock, and attach it to something. We will see. It is nice he is willing to try new things to help him communicate. Makes me really happy.

Till tomorrow....
dhbearguy: (jeffc_blue)
Yesterday's Jeff visit was with [ profile] sf_luke! We got there about 5:45 and they were just moving him from ICU to his room up on the 6th floor. It is a ward actually with 6 beds, so it is less private, and to me more annoying. Hopefully Jeff will get better to move to a private room soon.

It was a nice visit. Luke brought a baloon, and did a little artwork of the Castro and put it on the paper towel dispenser.

He took this photo while I was talking to Jeff... You can see Jeff's arm, but we are not goign to take photos of Jeff since that would just be wrong.

I talked quite a bit and he communicated as best as he could. At one point he let go of my hand, pointed at himself, then pointed at me. I asked what that meant, and then said "You want me to take me with you?" He shook his head yes! I can totally understand where he is coming from. Phil told me he did the same gesture to him earlier, but did not know what he wanted. He just wants out. I told him he needs to be there to heal and recover, and one day soon he will be going home where he belongs.

I will be visiting him this afternoon.

Fundraiser status. last night, [ profile] boyshapedbox and KUMA SF raised $286 for the Jeff Recovery Fund! AMAZING. Richard said it was GoGo tips, food tips, donations from DJ's, and even a donation from the bar! What a great community. Thanks to everyone again who has helped out.

This brings the total to $4996.00 so far!!

Next stop, the Eagle.
dhbearguy: (jeffc)
But this is not a post about that. This is a post about people who amaze me.

I went to grab a sammich at 2pm at the little deli in my building. Helen, who knows everyone and is very sweet and very fun asked me if I was going to be going to Hairrison this weekend. I said of course, and I was going to some parties. I told her about Jeff a few days ago. I told her today that it was awesome that some guys are putting together the gogo dancer and stripper fund raisers for Jeff. She asked me how can someone donate, and I told her, cash, check, paypal. She pulled out her purse and wrote me a check for $50.00. I was floored!!! Some people can just do amazing things when you least expect it and really make your day.

In other news, I am holding up fine. Everyone is asking me how I am doing, and how Jeff is doing. I am hoping to try to focus this weekend on trying to have a great time, and take lots of photos for Jeff to see. So if you ask I will probably just tell you I am fine and try not to dive to much into how Jeff is doing. It is very emotional to talk about him for me, and you all have been so awesome to ask.

So lets all have a good holiday weekend.
dhbearguy: (jeffc)
WOW, what a great Jeff visit today. I walked into his room, and he looked right at me and raised his left hand to me. I went right over to him and grabbed his hand and smiled big and said "Hi Ber!" He held on my hand a bit. I grabbed a chair and got up beside him and talked to him. Said a bunch of hello's from a bunch of you all!

I was looking at him silent at one point while he was dozing out, and he came back to me and I saw his left cheek move upwords. I said "Did you smile at me??" He shook his head yes!! Phil arrived and he sat in the chair by the window while I had my time with Jeff. Jeff kept grabbing at a pillow beside him and I was trying to figure out what he wanted. I said, "You want me to move this"? He shook yes, I said, where do you want me to put it. He raised his left arm to behind his head. Phil and I adjusted him the best we could to get him comfortable. He wanted his head elevated. We also determined that his head hurt, so Phil called the nurse in to see if he could have some meds for pain. It was time. Right after they gave him his pain meds, I kissed him farewell and told him I would be back to see him soon. He waved bye to me and right now he is probably in morhpine la la land.

I got to meet his social worker who is very nice. Just talked about legal stuff with Phil. Watch for Phil's update for today. While she was saying some things, she kinda of said something about Jeff that was a questions and Jeff made a hand gesture that was like "Eh, I don't know" To me that says that Jeff is really thinking, and understanding, and that has been a big fear of mine.

I feel much better after this visit. It was great to see him so active and response.
dhbearguy: (toon)
I have had many ask me how I am doing lately. Honestly, I feel like I am a mess. I cry, I am sad, I am stressed, I am nervous. All the things you never see in me. But in all honesty, this is the first time in a very very long time that someone so close to me has gone through something like this.

In February, when [ profile] beg1n had his surgery, 3 days later he called me right before the cruise I went on was to leave port. He was raspy and weak but wanted to make sure he told me to enjoy myself. I also did not see Jeff in the hospital, so I had no idea what his physical condition was.

This time around, it is 6 days since his surgery, and I have been to the hospital. The first time, Jeff was very responsive, but the other 2 not so much. It is like Jeff is off somewhere, and cannot be reached. Yesterday, I did get his attention and he was with me for a few seconds. When I thought he was with me, I said "Ber if you are with me squeeze my hand, and he did" The rest of the visit he was just off in his own world. I like to think he is off somewhere happy, and healing. Every moment I visit that I get to see him and he is with me will be one step closer to him being with me again like before the surgery.

I am very greatful to all of you who have contributed to Jeff's fund. I am very greatful for the wishes from you and the concern for how Phil and I are holding out. We are holding our own for sure. I am greatful I have someone in my life like Jeff to love, who loves me back.

I am stressed, I am crying, I am Sad, but I am optimistic that I will have my Jeff back, and that optimisim keeps me in check for most of my day.

Jeff Visit

Aug. 26th, 2006 01:48 pm
dhbearguy: (jeffc_blue)
I went to see Jeff today with Phil. It was very wonderful to see Jeff. When we went into the room, he appeard to be sleeping, but as soon as Phil said something he opened his eye right up, and it seemed very bright, which to me was such a great thing. I told him I knew he did not want visitors, but that I insisted I see him. He still does not want anyone to see him, but when he does Phil will let you know.

I held his hand, rubbed his belly, He seemed really happy to see me, because his eye just lit up everytime he looked at me. He held my hand really tight at one point.

I told him we are going to get through this all togehter, and that I would be there for him. He shook his head yes. I kissed him on the cheek and forehead.

Certain things I would say he would react to, and others not so much. Hearing about all of you asking about him got a response from him!! He knows you are all out there thinking about him.

He has a long way to go for recovery, and I hope some of you local will be able to help us when the time is right.

Funky mood

Aug. 25th, 2006 12:42 pm
dhbearguy: (jeffc)
I am in a funky mood today. Not sure why, and it is so not like me. It isprobably knowing that my best friend is in a hospital bed in Redwood City, and I have no clue how he is today, nor can I just go down there and see him.

I plan to go visit tomorrow morning sometime.


Aug. 24th, 2006 02:27 pm
dhbearguy: (toon)
Phil called me and got my voicemail for some reason. He should be posting an update when he gets back home. Keep Jeff in your thoughts for a speedy recovery he still has a long ways to go!
dhbearguy: (jeffc patch)
That is how long Jeff has been in O.R. Nothing new, but no news is good news.

We will be here until the doc comes out, and then head home to sleep some.
dhbearguy: (treo)
I stopped and had dinner on my way into the hospital. Got here about 15 minutes ago. Phil said he talked to the Assisting surgeon and will have an update soon. He left to go get dinner, and will be posting when he gets back.

I have internet access via my Treo 650 and my bluetooth adapter, so he can update directly from here for the rest of the evening.

I am going to watch some DVD's I brought with me, as well as chat with Phil. Phil and I have never really sat down and just chatted about anything, so this will be an opportunity to get to know him better.


Super Ber

Aug. 23rd, 2006 09:20 am
dhbearguy: (jeffc_blue)
When I got up this morning, there was an email from [ profile] beg1n, and it had a picture he took this morning before he left for the hospital.

He really is a Super Ber!!!

dhbearguy: (jeffc)
Hello my friends.

I am writing to ask for your help. I Know that many of you know who [ profile] beg1n is, and you know what he has been going through since February of this year. If not, Doctors discovered a benign tumor in his head. His MRI showed a mass the size of an egg. 3 days after seeing his MRI, Jeff was put into surgery to have the tumor removed. The surgery took 18 hours, and they were only able to get half of it out.

Since then, Jeff has been recovering, and has been healing from nerve damage to the side of his face that they surgery occurred on, as well as damaged vocal chords. Jeff is unable to talk normally, and due to the fact that he still has part of the tumor, he still has some issues with balance.

Jeff is scheduled for his 2nd surgery on the 23rd.

Jeff has been unable to work, and actually quit his job last year because he thought the stress was making him ill. It was probably a combination of the stress and the tumor. Jeff applied for Short Term Disability, and was approved, but that is due to run out in September. I found out that he could apply for Social Security benefits, but that takes some time to get answers. Jeff has medical insurance via COBRA but the cost as many of you may know, can be pretty high. [ profile] iahklu has been very generous to Jeff, and helping him out with living expenses. Phil and I care very very much about Jeff, as I know many of you do.

Jeff is a very proud person, and would rather go without and suffer before asking of anything from anyone. Hell, I have to fight him tooth and nail sometimes to pay for a movie for him, or to offer to buy him anything. He usually looses, because I am as stubborn as he is and I love him so very much.

So here I am asking for your help if you can. If you can give financially to help Jeff out, it would be most appreciated. Since Jeff is not one for taking gifts, I will be accepting them, and getting them to him. This way he will just have some money to help him out.

If you would like to donate financially, you have 3 options.

Send a check made payable to Dave Hayes
33 Elgin Park, #10
San Francisco, CA 94103
In the memo put Jeff Fund

You can donate via PayPal. Send to
Put Jeff Fund in the comments.
I will even pay the fees that PayPal charges me for accepting money.
If you would like a link for a specific amount, let me know.

You can transfer money directly to me if you have Bank of America

Transfer instructions.
Log into your account and go to "transfer funds".

The 2nd column is Bank of America Accounts owned by others.
Click the Add an eligible account

Last name Hayes
My account number is 0408841958
My zip code 94103
Please email me that you have donated.

I fear if I do not help, he may be forced to move back to Texas to live with his sister, and I cannot stand the thought of losing him from San Francisco because of financial reasons. I would do anything for Jeff. He knows that.

Thanks so much.
dhbearguy: (Default)
I had plans to go hang with [ profile] beg1n tonight. Went home to eat, since he can't go out and have regular dinners yet. Then headed over to his place. He was really feeling like he wanted to go out, so we headed downtown to the Metreon to catch a movie. V for Vendetta. Ran into [ profile] bigreddee on the J. He was headed to the Pilsner. He was gald to see Jeff, though Jeff was having a bit of trouble walking on the train while it was moving. He can currently only see out of one eye.

Here is a photo I took.

Arrrrgh, Jeff the Pirate!!

Over all had a very good time, though was a draining evening for Jeff, but good therapy none the less!

Thanks Ber for going and letting me take you out. You needed it.
love you.
dhbearguy: (jeff)
[ profile] daltxfurry inquired about gifts for Jeff since flowers is probably not a good thing. He suggest things like gift cards to local restaurants and delivery services like This would really be a beneficial gift for both Phil and Jeff since Jeff will be spending a lot of recovery time at home and Jeff will probably not want to do much cooking.

Please feel free to send any type of gift certificates you feel appropriate to

Jeff Corich/Phil Locke
PO Box 14816
San Francisco, CA 94114-0816

Jeff has over 200 people on his friends list and many are not on mine, so if you have friends who know Jeff, please feel free to cross post this information.

Thanks daltxfurry for the great idea!!!
Hugs all!! and keep your energy flowing to Jeff!!
dhbearguy: (Default)
Last night was such a trying night for [ profile] iahklul, [ profile] beg1n and myself in spirit. While I could not be there physically for Jeff, I was there the entire time sending the energy and love I have for Jeff, and energy and strength for Phil! Phil called me at 3:35am to let me know the good news. I was so relieved and so greatful. Jeff still has a ways to go.

I'm really torn as to what to do with the upcoming week. I am leaving today for Florida while my best friend is in ICU recovering from major surgery. He said to me before he went in that we are only allowed to be optimistic and that he is going to be alright and I am to go and enjoy myself. He also said he could not take me to the airport today!! That made me laugh! :-)

Today is going to be a rough day for me! Full work day, Jeff in my thoughts, travel in my thoughts. I know Jeff is going to come through because he is strong! And when I get back from Florida, I expect Jeff to be home waiting for me to visit to tell him all about my week! I wish he could go with me!

Phil, thanks for being there for Jeff. You are a wonderful inspiring person!

And thanks to everyone who has been thinking of Jeff and Phil! You are all wonderful people!!
dhbearguy: (jeffc)
As most of you know, Jeff and I have been friends for quite a few years. We met in 2002 in Dallas. He lived in Houston. We became very awesome and close friends, and today that friendship is as strong as ever. It was hardest telling Jeff I was moving to San Francisco! I was very sad to leave such a great friend behind, but knew that we would remain friends.

In October of 2003, Jeff moved to San Franciso and it is great to have him here. He and I are closer then ever, and I consider him my very best friend! I would do anything for him and he knows that. When he said he was having surgery it was right at the start of me being sick, so me being near him is exactly what he did NOT need. If I were not sick I would be right by his and Phil's side waiting for him to get to recovery and to be there when he wakes up. The last few hours have been really nerve racking for me.

I talked to Phil 9:40pm and he said he is still waiting. Phil sounded in very high spirits and I could not tell at all that he might be exhausted or tired. All I can do is wait and send great enerty Jeff's way. Phil said he will call me as soon as he knows anything, and I told him it does not matter what time it is. I will post as soon as I get the word, and of course Phil will post as well.

Hang in there everyone. We are all going to get through this very trying time. Jeff has so many loving caring people in his life!!

hugs to you all!

Me and Jeff all bushy April 1st, 2004


dhbearguy: (Default)

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